bestrongandcourageous

RED LETTERS

2006-08-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

drip, drip
the words drip with doubt
the words drip with feeling

each stroke and crest cries
with every drop of ink
with every slanted curve

do you see it?
your hands are soaked in it
drenched in my tears
submerged in my iniquities

Red letters

2006-08-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

It seems to be a tell-tale sign
bright as a lamp
clear as a kiss
Your face bares and brings
all the wonderful things
worth being missed
jagged and piercing
they break the panes
of the heart
shattered and broken
now falling apart
Is there no defense
against your sweet oppression?
No resistance from my conscious surrender?

There is only the dredging
of the bells of time
soft, silent acquiesce

WINTER TO END

2006-08-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

Spring comes at Winter's end
only after the leaves start to fall

PAGBIGYAN NYO LANG AKO

2006-08-07T05:40:00.000-07:00

pwede bang maginarte?
kahit sandali lang, kahit konting oras,
ayoko muna maging isang teacher na tinitingnan ng mga estudyante
ayoko muna maging isang anak na gumaganap ng posisyon sa pamilya
ayoko muna maging pastor, o lider, na nasa harapan ng madami
pwede bang lalaki lang ako?
pwede bang maging tao lang ako?

ang lungkot eh
ang sakit
magpapagal buong araw
ibibigay ang lakas sa iba
magpapahiwatig ng pag-ibig at sasalo ng mga problema
kailangan ngumiti kasi kailangan nila ng ngiti
ng lakas

maaari bang huwag nalang ako ngumiti?
o huwag magbigay ng lakas?
sa tingin nyo ba ay walang katapusan ang lakas ko?
hindi ako si Superman, eh kahit sya napapagod din
pwede bang ayoko buhatin ang mga pasakit nyo?
bakit ba kailangan ko malaman lahat ng problema nyo?
eh problema ko, eh luha ko,
sino dun? mayroon bang may alam?

hindi ko rin kaya noh
hindi ako malakas
hindi ako mabuti

ako'y mahina
ako'y naiyak

pareho tayo

I WANT TO SAY HOW IT FEELS

2006-07-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

I want to say how it feels
how its much more like acid in my mouth rather than a distant memory
how it more similar to the blade of a knife than the bitterness of silence

it like this you see
when I remember you
when I remember us
I remember that there is no us
and there is no you
there is only a void
a void with the weight of a hundred waves slammed together
much more like the weight of a kiss never had or forgotten

I go back to touching your hand
when now I can't even have your voice
can't even have the dream of seeing your face

ah your face
I cannot find a beauty
a goodness
that will have enough to say about it
its like a cloud on a warm day
the leaves of a sheltering tree
or the wind that passes through them

and then there is no you
there is no us
only the pain of a memory revisited
a locked door with no key
no hinge
only solid walls, lengthy and firm

you are that wall
keeping me away as one would a stray dog
dirty and forgotten

its like the stars on a clear evening
bright and existing
yet a universe away

like a hair that passes through my fingers
soft and gentle
and then gone

that is how it feels
and more

SAYA

2006-07-20T04:10:00.000-07:00

heto sa bahay nagiisa
walang kasama kundi ang alaala

BOW

SHAKEY'S

2006-07-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

A lock for your heart
A key to your soul
slippers to find your way
to the ring that makes you whole

THAT PLACE

2006-07-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

In the deepest shadows
and the farthest fears
lies the place we long for
the field of tears

once there you flourish
in your pain and cry

and wither
and wail
and scream
and die

ALONE WITH YOU

2006-07-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

I fade with the sun in the afternoon’s haze
And submit to the dwelling of pain and tears
Where pasts are revisited and old sins are set ablaze
With ash and scorn and the burden of years

This is where I feel most alone
With only shadows and wraiths to comfort me
Where I am nowhere, without house nor home
Only a bell tolling wails for an eternity

No one saves me from this place
No one knows of its existence
Will One come knocking, bringing Grace
One Bringing Love, One bringing presence

If am ever set to be alone
May I be alone with You

2006-07-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

a goodnight now before you sleep
a goodmorning on the morrow filled with love to keep

and between these hours when I am silent and still
is a hope and a prayer, and a fervent future will

I CORINTHIANS 13(JJV) John James Version

2006-07-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

"...I may speak very well and sing excellently, but without love, I am a noisy amplifier and a broken record, I may move people and lead them to great things, but without love, I am a useless rag doll, I may sacrifice all my time, my sweat, my tears, my money and my opportunities, but without love, I gain not even the weight of a single grain of sand...three things remain, faith, hope and love, and love stands above all."

I Cor 13

NO HERO

2006-07-05T07:54:00.000-07:00

I can hardly stand on my own two feet
I shed my tears without fail
I can never stand still in the heat
or stop the forces of wind and gale

I'm not a hero
I'm barely a man
Pain visits me
as much as anyone

I'm not a hero
I always fall
without Your love
I am nothing at all

KAPIT PA

2006-07-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

bato-batong dahan dahang nahulog sa bangin
tila hindi na aabutin ng paningin
kaya pa bang ipilit na ikapit ang daliring puno ng galos
kaya pa bang ituloy kahit puno ng paghihilagpos

SEALED TIME

2006-06-21T23:21:00.000-07:00

I go back to a heart's beginning
where time does not matter
and where sacrifice is the given tune

I want to remember that music
where notes and words all fall in ryhme
where kisses are kept and sealed in time

I WOULD RATHER HAVE TAKEN THE SHAFT

2006-06-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

I would rather have taken the shaft
than the flat edge of your words
without the mercy of a clean strike
nor the gift of a graceful parry
you lunge

I would rather have felt the wound
than experience the numbness of this invisible pain

a cut I would have stitched
a plaster over the drip

but in your blunt swing there is no escape
in your flat edge can be found no remedy

FORK

2006-05-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

I walk on paths both sweet and sorrowful
each laden with its share of joy and tears

One, I walked through its fullest extent
enjoying what heart and misery that could be found

The Other I trod on ever so carefully
till I convened to embrace it as well

tears I received from both
rains and spoils of sorrow
love I offered as well
without chance nor hope of morrow

Yet the best I could do is to not trod on either
and leave both as it is in the arms of forever

?

2006-05-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

Would you forgive me
if I broke your heart
if i rend your spirit and tore you apart

Would you find peace
if I destroyed your tranquility
if I blinded you and chose things for you to see

Would you still love
if I never loved back
if I never did have all the things you thought I lacked

EVENING CALL

2006-05-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

Great the pain that the evening brings
that makes men cower and fall
Deep and sorrowful the night lark sings
when fates lies shattered by a single call

UNTITLED 2

2006-05-29T00:27:00.000-07:00

The slow drone of the rusty air-conditioner fills the computer lab, almost in tune with the robotic voice of the instructor now standing in front.

Sitting, well, hiding behind my computer screen, I concoct amazing tales of galactic wars and ancient beasts while the class around me goes on. The blur of the monitor provides a likely distraction and play of lights that imagination becomes easy to cultivate.

It goes on for hours, as the instructor continues on Communications Tecnology and Projections I continue with ravaging the planet Zakdos in my mind, wielding giant sabres, riding on top of metallic eagles, I conquer the planet, all before the instructor chances to glance my way.

A faint light intrudes on the dark computer room and I thought that some crazy guy once again had to run to the bathroom, therefore destroying my imaginative environment. I turn to the door and well, imagination would have failed to describe what I saw.

She was wearing a bright yellow sleeveless top that accentuated her slender neck, where her dark hair curled around. Her slight bangs minutely cover her little eyes, that seemed to glow with light from within. She smiled a perfect smile, like the sunrise.

"Sir, sorry I'm late."

The instructor grunted an inaudible word and proceeded with his lecture. The mystery girl fished for a seat and when she couldnt find one, she took the only one left in the room...the one next to me.

"Excuse me." She said, once again with her spotless smile. I thought I would lose conscousness.

"Uh...um." I stumbled with my words like a 4-year old who just spilled milk.

"Yeah?" I could hear myself squeak.

"Is this seat taken?" Before the words left her pristine lips she was already halfway seated, crossing her bright legs that lay partly covered by a silk skirt. She was exquisite.

Awestruck was not enough a word, galactic space battles now seemed like a distant and immature memory.

"Uh, no, yeah, you can sit."

"Thanks, you're sweet."

All of hell's demons would not have been able to take my gaze away from her perfect face. I can imagine a thousand tow trucks pulling me away but to no avail.Yet as she opened her mouth to say a word, the bell rang and broke all semblance of radiance from the room.

"Oh, it's time, see you around kid."

"wa..wait..wait..."

Even if all the world's satellites were pinned on me, she never would have heard my tiny voice.

I turned and watched her walk towards the door, she opened it and became bathed in light and drifted away into dream.

"Bye."

SUKO

2006-05-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

kala ko kulang pa
ang aking pag-alala
kala ko may humihigit pa
sa aking pag-kalinga

kala ko di pa sapat
and mga oras na inalay
kala ko mayroon pa
akong pag-ibig na maibibigay

kala ko pa, kala ko pa
ngunit ang lahat pala
ay sadyang sobra na

OVER

2006-05-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

I hurt you to protect you
and send you away to save your heart

I bring tears to rescue you
so that you will remain when we are apart

COMPLICATION

2006-05-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

what am I doing here?
brought far from home by a false hope, a peek of an unattainable future
what is she that I oblige her?
that I reduce my wants to a cinder and make her my entire whole?

I am enchanted by some spell that lifts me to her
that makes me want to breathe the air around her
to feel her joy and taste her pain

she entraps me
and I am taken in

RETREAT

2006-05-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

This is something that has been simmering on my mind for the past years or so
but I never had the courage to do it, nor the sanity to push through
I am lost

I have found my paths all shoveled up and destroyed
My dreams have shriveled and now lie in forgotten corners of my soul
I have a bag packed already with the few things I would need to go on my own

I don't have money

I don't even have the nerve

BREWED STEW

2006-05-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

Pain is much like a broiling broth
that simmers up the pan
while love is much like a brewing stew
best tasted when it is done

BOOM

RUMBLING SLUM

2006-04-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

Does the soil cry when it is shoveled?
Or does the sea groan under the weight of the sky?
Does a tear strain to hold on with all its strength
to not be separated from its eye?

Maybe words are the ramblings of an unheard mind
seeking some way to appear alive
for once silent, like a leaf
is shamefully unnoticed
until it is snapped and dead and falling
to the ground

FROM THE WOMB TO THE TOMB

2006-02-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

Thanks for my name and the uttered prayers
Thanks for the times you chewed my food and picked me up when I fell
but now that my will screams release from the pyres
I die my death free from your hands at the sounding of the bell

NIGHT MARKET

2006-01-05T18:50:00.000-08:00

The air was heavy and warm as it draped itself around me that night in Bangkok. It was also that night that I saw her wading through tables in the bustling yet serene Suan Lum night bazaar. She balanced towers of plates with impeccable grace which seemed a titanic task for her small frame. Her slender body waved like a palm tree in the cool breeze among tables and chairs filled with tourists and locals alike. She smiled through a set of perfect teeth encased in tiny lips, and it was like a fresh wind in the stale Bangkok night. She spoke with unfamiliar words, yet each was like a note from a guitar, beautifully plucked, in rythmic resonance.

ON A SCREEN

2006-01-05T18:47:00.000-08:00

She stares with eyes infinitely deep. It is like looking unto a crystal sea, with gentle waves like curtains covering an eternity of mystery. Her face is as porcelain, beauty proved by a hundred glances, smooth as a kiss. Her lips gently move, as if carrying the whispers of angels, pure and untarnished. Does she think of me as she looks? Can her eyes see mine as I gaze at her? Will her hands welcome mine if I reach out to her, will her fingers wrap themselves, intertwined with my own?

She smiles a smile that soothes the fire and makes a furnace a candle, friendly and soft. I smile back, embracing her warmth. She walks towards me with slow, small steps, like a child’s pace when bringing flowers down the church aisle. She holds out her hand in honour of a kiss, and I bow low to her, eyes closed in sanctity and come upon sand hardened by degrees and a tear.

UNTITLED

2005-12-05T02:14:00.000-08:00

Raindrops fall on the window as the bus wades its way through afternoon traffic. I try my best to look interested to Dave whom I met all of twelve minutes ago and who since then, have been talking incessantly about the pressures of being a 30-year old single salesman. The scenes outside provide subtle escape as cars and buses pass by. The bus stops by the side and with a hiss of air, the door slides open.

“Oh, here’s my stop.” Dave said with a sigh

He shakes my hand and rises from his seat next to mine with his crumpled shirt and tattered tie. He turns as he walks out of the bus and shouts to me loud enough that the passengers on the bus behind us might have heard as well.

“Remember! You can’t sell what you don’t have!’ And with a wave of his hand he was off, out of the bus and into the rain.

I turned my head again towards the window to avoid the puzzled stare of the other passengers. An old lady was making her way through the frenzied traffic and stops to tap the window of a nearby car, the rags she wore now drenched in the rain. The man inside waves her off and sped forward as soon as the traffic lightened up in front of him. My bus on the other hand, stands still as it picks up passengers and I am left staring at the old woman, old and worn, wearing nothing but her rags and the piercing rain.

“Do you have change for a fifty?”

I turned with a sigh, fearful that a new Dave the Salesman is sitting next to me, ready to indulge me in a whole new round of stressful talking. And as I turned, I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

“Uh.” My mouth groped for words.

“Here.” I almost automatically replied as I realized that I was halfway through my pockets and fished out her change.

“Thanks.” She smiled and all else faded from view, she handed the whole fifty to me as clouds burst with sunlight and all earth broke forth into song.

“Oh no, the rides on me, it’s alright.”

“Really?” She replied with her godlike eyes looking at me, perfect and penetrating. “It’s nice to know that there are still gentlemen around.

I fixed my best smile and replied, “Well, we do our best to hang on.”

My gaze steadied on her. Her hair, like silk, glistened under the bus’ dim lights. She smiled through the most enchanting lips and her words seemed as music to my ears.

“I’m Jen.” And at that moment, no other name seemed to matter anywhere. I took her outstretched hand to shake it, and it felt like flowing water in a perfect stream.

“And I’m Mark.”

“And what it is that you do Mr. Gentleman Mark?”

She laughed a little laugh that could have stopped wars.

“I teach English at a highschool near where I live, it’s not much but its fun and the kids are great to be with.”

“A teacher? That’s great!” She exclaimed, and I felt like the noblest man in history. “I wanted to be a teacher too, but now I’m just trying my luck with acting you know? I’ve modeled a bit here and there but I’m really waiting for my big break.”

“The way you look.” I started. “You’re too beautiful not to make it.”

“You’re too nice.” She laughed her little, perfect laugh and I laughed with her. It was like being immersed in perfume and fresh roses.

She gently nudged me on the shoulder and said.

“So, Sir Mark, I may need your help in my English so I can speak better during my interviews. Maybe you’d like to give me a crash course? My place isn’t that far away and I’m on my way there now.”

She looked at me with her perfect face; the Earth would stop spinning if she asked it to.

I strapped on my bag and slowly stood up as the bus once again stopped by the side after what seemed like an eternity and I noticed the cars and people once again passing by outside my window.

“That would be really great but here’s my stop already and I gotta get down. I would have loved to but I have to go, sorry.”

I saw her frown for the first time; it was like an earthquake down my chest.

“Oh, bye then.”

“Bye.”

I turned and walked down the bus and walked back till I saw the old woman in the rain and gave her the spare change. I walked back and watched my bus sped forward down the street. I stood and waited for another bus in the rain to bring me home. My wife would have something warm cooked by now, and I prayed for a quick ride home.

L'ESTRANGER

2005-11-17T06:07:00.000-08:00

I need to be a stranger to myself
someone repulsed by who I am
I need to be evicted from myself
one who counts himself as a different man

for the one who has lived in death and pain
must now and always be never the same

WORLD'S END

2005-11-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

I've effectively pushed away all I love and all that could love me
My wickedness transcends all the good I've done and all I've yet to do
I will spend, most probably spend my entire life
all my remaining minutes
each and every sunset
left of the time given me...paying penance.

For this heart that has wept more times than it has grinned,
stands unworthy of any other.

DISTRESS

2005-11-07T02:45:00.000-08:00

Can the magic of healing be brought down to bear
to an unworthy soul far beyond care
echoed footsteps of daunted hopes
lay scattered on darkened mountain slopes

ODE TO YOU

2005-11-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

Ode to you whom I much love
here comes the time when hearts falter so
our story may be writ here or above
but all I see is our endless sorrow

Years since we swore our oath
to hold on to what the dawn will bring
but rules and chains entagled us both
and destroyed all songs that we could sing

Here I say my final dues
and bid farewells with tears
I now submit to sorrowful hues
and in turn fall under the wrath of years

CEBU PALATTE

2005-10-27T22:25:00.000-07:00

Days here are much like a bowl of soup
slow and warm with tastiness
Nights here are much like a plate of fruit
brimming with sweet air and freshness

Yet every bite is a reminder of home
and every piece a taste of how to be alone

CRANIAL EXTRACTION

2005-10-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

I sing to rend my memories apart
and shed off the chains that imprisoned my heart
and when the torment of forgetting starts
I sing again to the most abominable art

Three notes first for the purging of souls
the ones who crumpled my intricate whole
the voices, the hands that pull me down to Sheol
Three cries more as I take the damnnest role

of one who must be destroyed so others might live
and pray on later that my sins they forgive

HERMITAGE

2005-10-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

Little crab who's lost his soul
is adrift at sea without a home

...what is the price of growth
...and the quantity of sacrifice
...how many times can you break an oath
...and when do you pick up a scattered life

MEMORY LAPSE

2005-09-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

What do you do with a sweet memory
one that cannot crawl back again?

Why does it poke at the gentlest corners of your soul
and pull out stitches off wounds that never did mend?

When once two hearts said yes and time said no
how deep and how far can that memory go?

A SHADE OF GRAY

2005-09-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

When all things seem a shade of gray
and highlights are left in the shadows
when passion and fire are left to decay
then what is left is the surrender that follows

close your eyes and leave out the hues
use only your soul that listens to the unheard
reach out not with your hands and give hearts their dues
grip and embrace the unwritten word

MANGA ISWIT

2005-09-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

Binibining marikit
daladala mo ang langit
ako ay nasasabik
matikman ang iyong halik

O diba.

SECESSION

2005-09-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

How do you escape from grains of sand
and flee from the rain that follows?
How do you fly off from a desolate land
when there is no sky and only sorrow?

NIGHTTIME DOWNTIME

2005-08-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

Nightime scurrying
and fading fast
moonshine shimmering
and breaking last

When half a world is catching dreams
my own is tearing at the seams

FADE

2005-08-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

I fade
and fall
and become purposefully lost
I fade
and crawl
and become sufficiently inadequate
I fade
and stall
and become positively detrimental
I fade
and fall
into the holiest sin

2005-07-08T03:29:00.000-07:00

eto ang sau na humahawak
ng lahat at lahat ng pagka ako
isang mahalimuyak na pagsasabi
saung sau ang puso ko

GROWTH

2005-07-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

slow burning transforms
into a purified gold
patient pain arose

MOON SHOWING

2005-06-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

The clouds lift and your face is unveiled
as stars stand by and bow to you
you smile and answer as you are hailed
and show me what was really true

MOON HIDING

2005-06-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

I know how you feel
ashamed of the shadows youy cast
It is how it is now
as you take cover in your clouds
and take away the light
you once openly shared

SA KANIYANG NAGHIHINTAY

2005-06-19T06:31:00.000-07:00

Sa iyo na naghihintay
at dahan-dahang namamatay
paraan lang ito upang masanay
sa totoong pag-ibig na ibibigay

...o diba.

CLOSER

2005-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Each step is closer to you
while each word is a pack of unwritten memories floating
eager to wither

Each breath is a stain on your soul
while each promise waits on the edge to be broken
yet fearful to start

Closer, I am closer
bring me closer
for I am never more than a heartbeat away

KAYA MO PALA

2005-05-27T03:03:00.000-07:00

"Open rebuke is better than secret love."
King Solomon

Kaya mo palang isantabi ang iba
at kalingin lamang ang sarili mo
kaya mo palang maglikha ng sakit
at pillin kung ano ang totoo
Di mo kayang tingnan ang katotohanan
ikaw ay nabubulagan

TO YOU

2005-05-27T02:48:00.000-07:00

To you whose hand I wish to hold
till the time when all of Hell's minions repent

..please forgive
..please remember

I was and still am yours.

TODAY

2005-05-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

Today was my last great chance at hope
to feel what was
and to see what could have been
but as the dawn wakes all souls from dreams
as I should face tomorrow.

NOW,NEVER,NEVER

2005-05-19T01:34:00.000-07:00

...I thought strength would be the key to win her
...I thought faith was what I needed
...in the end all I did was hurt her
...and here, now, I conceded.

Till Your time,white flag up.

SURRENDER

2005-05-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

I believe

I surrender

to Your overwhelming grace

I believe

I surrender

to the wonder of Your Face

PAGPAPARITONG PAURONG

2005-05-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

Tinakbo ko nang walang kaduda duda
ni hindi man ako lumingon
pinilit kong tanggapin pati pagkukulang mo
wala akong isang patak na itinapon

pano mo ngayon nasasabi na heto'y hindi malinaw
na ang oras na pinagsamahan ay tila napapanaw
ilang walang hanggan pa ba ang dapat kong ialay
upang ang sarili ko ay mapatunayang tunay?

TUNNEL DEEP, ENDLESS WEEP

2005-05-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

It is all about rhyme tonight
and a fear, an unimaginable fright
these bind my heart in chains so tight
so far from the Holy light

No ledges or footholds left for me
only darkness as far as I can see
such is this terrible poetry
and sin that wil last for eternity

BOW

AND IN A SOUR NOTE...

2005-04-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

once again fell flat
hard on the surface of doubt
broken, uncertain

TO THAT TATTERED SAIL, TO THAT PURPOSED FLOWER

2005-04-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

To that tattered sail broken in the wind
who weeps upon her windowside
unfurl your flags and let your dream begin
and no more should you cower and hide

To that gentle rose who longs to be loved
with petals fragrant and fair
your love is made fresh and radiant from above
one who is bursting with sweetness and care

To two friends waiting for their passion to take flight
go forth, conquer, be not afraid of the night

USOK

2005-04-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

The smoke burns as I am lost in it
aiding and saving lives
The smoke clears and I stand
grateful for mine

INSTRUCTING, DETRACTING

2005-04-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

I've never experienced the fulness of giving instruction till recently
Of helping minds grow and spirits evolve
I've also never been as weary, nor as discouraged
In starting something till recently
But in toil there's joy
and for now
it outweighs

FLYING ON SHREDDED WINGS

2005-04-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

Oh yes how I desire to lift them up!
to give my strength to aid there suffering
to teach them how to fly and be free
but my flight is short and my strength is waning
for I am flying on shredded wings

LAKAD, SULONG, TIGIL

2005-04-13T18:54:00.000-07:00

Kinaya kong sagipin silang lahat
bawat isa ay pinilit kong ilayo sa kapahamakan
mga sugat na natamo at nagdurugong balat
pawang sakit lang ang aking nahagkan

subalit nakita ko ang ngiti sa kanilang mukha
at ang ligaya na kanilang nadarama
ang dugong dumanak ay napalitan ng luha
luha mula sa umaapaw na tuwa

ako'y umalis sa pagtapos ng aking gawain
pasalamat nila ay aking tinanggap
ngunit sino ang makakakita sa aking adhikain
na sana mayroong sumagip sa sarili kong paghihirap

SELF

2005-03-24T09:57:00.000-08:00

you die a little everyday
and is ressurected with each coming morn
tonight you are stretched thin
mind enveloped in a whim
to once again and therefore forevermore
lose yourself yet not disappear

SHE

2005-03-24T09:56:00.000-08:00

How can I improve upon your perfection?
such impossible thoughts vexes me true
tell me which way to take and in what direction
for I strain everyday to catch up to you

STARS

2005-03-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

You blink at me in the darkness
covered by ancient wisps of breath
I reach out to you forevermore
and forevermore will I never reach you
for you are held in your timeless place of glory
and I am but a flicker in the shadow

SEA

2005-03-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

I saw you, infinite
your arms eternal
and your welcome, timeless
your love comes in waves that cannot be counted
you never fail to soothe each needing hand
your wonder leaves me breathless
and your depth captures me in awe
I long to lose myself in your embrace once more
lost in the thrashing waves of your love

MIDNIGHT POETRY

2005-03-10T03:37:00.000-08:00

What do you do when the darkness brings no sleep,
when there are no more tears left for you to weep,
when the despair is just too deep,
and the pain is solely yours to keep?

BLEEDING, DYING

2005-03-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

since when did you have the ability to turn so cold,
to burn all the bridges we have created and destroy all the love we have shared?
where did your heart go when it started to fold,
and how did you manage to forget that I ever cared?

I know and am sure that I abound in my faults,
that most tears have fallen because I was never enough.
but there is no reason to give up and start sowing salt,
and leave this love barren, dry and dying in the rough.

MAKAUWI NALANG

2005-03-02T00:55:00.000-08:00

kung saan saan na tayo nakarating
mahaba narin ang nalakbay natin
kay rami nang pinagdaanan
malayo pa ang paroroonan
nais ko'y makauwi nalang

ilan na ba ang binitawang salita?
at ganong kalalim na ang dumanak na luha?
ngunit alam natin ang totoo
ang pag-ibig nati'y sadyang ganito
isa lang ang masasabi ko sa iyo

tara na, sumama ka na
tapos na ang panahon na luha
simulan na natin ang buhay na kay saya
tayo ay umuwi na

wag ka lang bibitaw sa kamay ko
sarili ko lang ang maaalay ko
marami na tayong natutunan
tayo ay may karapatan
ituloy na ang ating pagmamahalan

SIKRETO(sa kaniyang nagmahal)

2005-03-02T00:40:00.000-08:00

nakikita mo ba
ang pagsulyap ng aking mga mata?
mga inaagaw na tingin
na di mo napapansin

napagmamasdan mo ba
ang tamis ng aking ngiti?
mga pahapyaw na sandali
na ika'y aking minimithi

sana ay masabi ko sa iyo
kung ano ang nilalaman ng aking puso
sana ay malaman mo ito
at ako'y maging masmatapang sa iyo
kayanin ko kayang sabihin ito?
na ika'y iniibig ko

TWINKLE

2005-02-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

the sky is bright tonight
infinitely clear
sprinkling sands of light
precious and dear

TUNNEL'S END

2005-02-23T06:57:00.000-08:00

Too long we fought and groped in the dark
learning how to walk and crawl
too hard we ran to keep the spark
and we learned how to give our all

at times it was too painful to go on
and often was our faith let go
we got tired of staying strong
no longer wanting our blood to flow

yet through it all we saw the light
shining at tunnel's end
oh it is such a precious sight
only to learn that a new journey begins

NEEDING YOU NEEDING ME

2005-02-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

I try to supress it and cover it with smiles
and project it unto you
I give my all and walk thousands of extra miles
just so you'd notice it too

Last night I hurt your heart and hurt your pride
pounding on your gentle soul
when i just needed to turn myself aside
and let all my frustrations flow

I couldn't say what I had to say
and ended up bringing you to tears
but all i wanted is you everyday
to need me as I'll need you for years

A CRYING FRIEND

2005-02-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

Like an ocean beyond a pane of glass

and the universe through the telescope

no such other has what he has

truth, and an everlasting hope

PAUSE

2005-01-31T05:33:00.000-08:00

i saw it as a curse
a plague upon my pride
with lips chapped and a voiceless whimper
and each muscle quivering with weakness
my head pounds like a thundering stampede
and each passing second sees more pain

maybe i did need to get this sick
so i will remember how much I need her

AND I QUOTE...

2005-01-25T09:12:00.000-08:00

" Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait pas ."

Blaise Pascal

astig noh? kung alam nyo.

PEPEMISM

2005-01-25T08:51:00.000-08:00

I know now what to call life; it is an inescapable ring of pain,
with joy embossed on its sides witnessed only in a few magnificent moments,
only to fall back again into inevitable loss.

TO THE BEST OF THE LONELY

2005-01-25T07:48:00.000-08:00

this is to the best lonely man I know
drowning in the loneliness of his room
feeding from an appetite of gloom

this is to the best unhappy man I know
longing for a glimpse of hope
struggling hard to cope

this is to the best man I know
gathering courage to show his worth
for love that is elusive and worth the search

DAWN'S REBUKE

2005-01-20T08:34:00.000-08:00

I have no poetry tonight
words fall short of their meaning and loses all sense of purpose
I cannot see them

they have lost their power
I cannot transform them and thus they cannot transform me
they have gone

I am a meaningless shell
and dawn creeps up to show my failings
I have failed

SILENT HEART

2005-01-10T21:29:00.000-08:00

what poetry is there in the silent heart?
what voice shouts love when we are apart?

the deafening silence wraps muted words and quiet rhapsodies,
begging you
asking you
to come to me

UNSLEEP I

2005-01-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

I can't sleep, too many images swirl through my mind, memories both mine and not mine.
A cacophany of voices tear through my head. Fiction and reality melt together into one frenzied mix. Sins past and sins imagined haunt my soul and I am chipped away. I cannot scream, lest I loose myself again to the powers of the night.

A REPLY

2004-12-10T08:51:00.000-08:00

In the end, it is who we are that determines how the past will affect us. Lingering on it too long and you shall fall prey to its wiles, and it will leave you utterly helpless, crippling you and unabling you to love more, live better. But to some the past is a spring of strength, a fountain that you can draw upon to push you to forever master your future and to day by day, live better. Love is not a gushing river that needs a dam to be stopped nor an ocean that is unfathomable. it is more like a drop of water, precious in all its entirety, from starting trickle, to final splash.

BCOZ OF U

2004-12-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

I lost track of what was real
and embraced the fear that sent you away
I was too weak too admit what I feel
and never said what I meant to say

But please don't walk nor run too far
as I begin my search for myself
for now I know that you are
the one I've been running from as well

Maybe fate needed to push us aside
to realize what we really have always known
that years nor miles can't change the tide
that brings us back together home

REBUKE

2004-11-16T01:35:00.000-08:00

Maybe you just want to help her
or maybe help yourself
to find your worth when you see none
or maybe find yourself

your words sound just and full of love
but never reach their mark
because what you see is from your eyes
and never from your heart

you try your best to be the best of friends
yet never understand
that there is more than what you want to see
more than you ever can

IKAW

2004-11-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

maari kang ihambing sa isang gabing maningning
kapag dumadaloy ang hangin
at ako'y nilalambing

maari kang halimbawa nang umagang kay ganda
pag nakikita ko ang langit
at naiisip ang lawak ng iyong halaga

nais ko lang sabihin kung ano ang nakikita ko sa iyo
ito ay tunay at totoo
ikaw ang buong buhay ko

MOOD PIECE 2

2004-10-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

The lone hum of the air conditioner breaks the excuse for silence. Words yet to be formed hang in the air, waiting for impulse, or emotion. She sits, spinning her chair around slowly, like a grand carousel bearing no one, empty save for the cascading lights and the electronic music. Across her he also sits, stooped on a flat table strewn with papers flat and crumpled, zigzagged with words and letters unfathomable. The battle ensues under a blanket of silence, each holding his own pride, her own righteousness.

He serves himself a little glance, careful not to be noticed. His love for her betrays him and he starts to open his mouth to break the silence. But as the words start to form a heavy truck passes outside, muting all volume. He shirks and nods his head, accepting defeat.

MOOD PIECE I

2004-10-13T01:28:00.000-07:00

Raindrops fall in tune with the strings of the guitar. Strumming, plucking, each sound falling in place beside the lone droplets of rain. Lightning flashes in time with each change of the chords, melodies dancing to the sound of thunder and rain

“Where are you…” he asks, seemingly drowned at the sound of rain and his own guitar. The leather sofa provides little comfort from the cold of the rain, and the room cracks and groans as the wood shifts at the onslaught of the rain. The guitar now silent is laid aside as he stands and walks up to the nearby window, droplets of rain obscuring the view outside, as if hiding the ominous shadow of the looming storm.

His phone chirps and he hurriedly picks it up, hopeful that it is finally her, coming back to him. Rather it is an infocast, warning of the coming rain.

“Too late, all too late.” He says as he once again glances out the window, watching the infinite drops of rain and the eternity of silence that seemed to echo as the thunder rolls by.

ON "SECRET WINDOW"

2004-09-29T01:54:00.000-07:00

When does the moment come

When you are cut off from yourself
and become something else, some other?

How much pain can the psyche bear?
How much hate can the soul tolerate?

How much time does it take
For the heart to tear and the spirit to break?

Beware that moment then,Beware that time
Because if, when, it comes,My life is no longer be mine.

GROWTH

2004-09-27T01:55:00.000-07:00

As a tree grows
the heart grows too

sometimes it goes slowly and unnoticed
as if it were afraid to venture forth

on other times it is bold and strong
too willing to take on the swirling winds

the heart, like a tree
can be hurt

cut off its branches and it will bleed
pound it and it will cry

As a tree yields fruit
the heart does too

through pruning and falling leaves
through harsh sunshine and days of rain

the heart like the tree
endures forever too

BESIEGED

2004-09-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

I am besieged by sorrow
and it is a hopeless fight
I am besieged by sorrow
with sickness and with fright
I am besieged by sorrow
and I wish to end by the coming of the night

SNAKE EYES

2004-09-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

Does each day start with the throw of the dice?
then life will unfold according to the dots?

Are our lots already cast before the sun even shines?
and we have no choice but to accept what we got?

Is Divine Will merely a gamble of stakes?
an invisible trap that we earnsetly wait?

And if it is so, and then I must say,
I'll take your dice, and throw them away.

WORDS AND WISDOM

2004-09-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

Thoughts permeate the chilled air
as words dangle to and fro
wisdom rolls around,shared here and there
and so we watch confidence grow

RESET

2004-09-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

Reset, rewind
turn back the hands of time

Tear the pages, pull back the line
erase all that you consent to and signed

Reset, rewind
If only I could, turn back the hands of time

DEPRESSED, DISTRESSED AND DESTRUCTIVE

2004-09-07T06:43:00.001-07:00

Maybe she was right all along
I really do not know anything
that my emotions are just constructs to amuse the outward eye
that my prayers are voiceless and aimless and lost
that my mind knows no truth but the truth of lies
Just when I thought I was building myself anew
now I am starting all over again
all my efforts are thrown into the wind
and are carried off into a strong current leading nowhere
Maybe my truth is no-truth
and my art is no-art
and myself..is no-self

LOVE AND DEATH AND LOVE AGAIN

2004-09-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

I have tried love before
and because I was not sure
I ended up with pain that's without a cure

I tried to taste the taste of death
to fade forever and be at rest
but such a gift, was really a curse, and did not work out at best

I try once more to love again
To now love true and without end
and even death could not take the love I now spend

FEAR

2004-09-01T03:37:00.000-07:00

Fear makes me less than who I am
Fear eats away the power in me

every bone and sinew is frozen
and every word is cut in half

Fear destroys all I could ever hope for
Yet now fear should fear who I choose to be

BROKEN PIECES OF ME

2004-09-01T03:29:00.000-07:00

I found out today that I have a friend
who didn't believe in even an ounce of me

I found out today that a have a friend
who truly never did see

I found out today that I have a friend
who brought pain as pain can honestly be

I found out today that I had a friend
and that friend was me

TO TAKE A STEP

2004-08-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

I heard once that the only mistake Is in not asking
I heard, too, that wars are lost In a split-second of doubt

But when does that split-second begin?
When does one shed off his pride
And begin to take the first step?

I long to be there.

STREAMS OF TIME

2004-08-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

The storm gives the world its time
and everyone obtains a muddled sort of peace

While raindrops tatter on roofs and windowsills
civilization stops to think and rest
and turns to reflections long overdue

the storm transforms into streams of time
and cascades down the street
and every drop of rain
brings out notes and rhyme

and thoughts once hidden are now released

DISPLACED

2004-08-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

The world is new, and I am lost in it
friendly faces are now strangers
and old haunts are now vague icons on a roadmap

The walls around me have changed and shifted
familiar pictures are now random memories
smiles once remembered are now worried frowns

Where is my old world now?

ABSENCE

2004-08-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

like a slow poison
that can only be cured
with a glimpse of
you

bestrongandcourageous

RED LETTERS

WINTER TO END

PAGBIGYAN NYO LANG AKO

I WANT TO SAY HOW IT FEELS

SAYA

SHAKEY'S

THAT PLACE

ALONE WITH YOU

I CORINTHIANS 13(JJV) John James Version

NO HERO

KAPIT PA

SEALED TIME

I WOULD RATHER HAVE TAKEN THE SHAFT

FORK

?

EVENING CALL

UNTITLED 2

SUKO

OVER

COMPLICATION

RETREAT

BREWED STEW

RUMBLING SLUM

FROM THE WOMB TO THE TOMB

NIGHT MARKET

ON A SCREEN

UNTITLED

L'ESTRANGER

WORLD'S END

DISTRESS

ODE TO YOU

CEBU PALATTE

CRANIAL EXTRACTION

HERMITAGE

MEMORY LAPSE

A SHADE OF GRAY

MANGA ISWIT

SECESSION

NIGHTTIME DOWNTIME

FADE

SAU

GROWTH

MOON SHOWING

MOON HIDING

SA KANIYANG NAGHIHINTAY

CLOSER

KAYA MO PALA

TO YOU

TODAY

NOW,NEVER,NEVER

SURRENDER

PAGPAPARITONG PAURONG

TUNNEL DEEP, ENDLESS WEEP

AND IN A SOUR NOTE...

TO THAT TATTERED SAIL, TO THAT PURPOSED FLOWER

USOK

INSTRUCTING, DETRACTING

FLYING ON SHREDDED WINGS

LAKAD, SULONG, TIGIL

SELF

SHE

STARS

SEA

MIDNIGHT POETRY

BLEEDING, DYING

MAKAUWI NALANG

SIKRETO(sa kaniyang nagmahal)

TWINKLE

TUNNEL'S END

NEEDING YOU NEEDING ME

A CRYING FRIEND

PAUSE

AND I QUOTE...

PEPEMISM

TO THE BEST OF THE LONELY

DAWN'S REBUKE

SILENT HEART

UNSLEEP I

A REPLY